Front Porch Swing
by whateverforever12
Summary: One shot. Callie see's Stef outside in the middle of the night and joins her on the front porch swing and have a heart to heart.


Callie often found herself waking up in the middle of the night, and tonight was no exception. She turned over to reach for a glass of water, annoyed that she had again forgotten to put one there before she went to sleep. Looking at the clock, she wasn't surprised at the time. 1:41 am. She pulled the covers off and walked quietly towards the door, careful to not wake Mariana. She found that she had almost become a master of sneaking through the house in the middle of the night because she forgot a glass of water at least once a week. She knew which step made the loudest creak and was always careful to skip it. As she continued down the stairs, she saw someone sitting outside on the front porch. It didn't take long for her to figure out who it was, and as soon as she got her water, she found herself sliding as quietly through the front door, making sure it was unlocked before she shut it.

"Hey." Callie said quietly.

"Hey, love. What are you doing up?" Stef turned toward Callie, surprised.

Callie gestured towards her cup and Stef nodded.

Callie sat down on the porch swing next to her, keeping herself slightly distanced but to the point where there knee's touched slightly.

"How 'bout you?" Callie asked.

Stef sighed. "Just one of those nights, my love."

Callie moved herself closer and rested her head on Stef's shoulder.

"I love you." Callie said.

Stef smiled and pulled callie closer then leaned her head on Callie's.

"I love you too, slug-a-bug."

The two sat in silence for a while, listening closely to the sounds of the night as well as each other's breaths.

"Are you okay?" Callie asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I've seen better nights, but I will be okay." Stef replied, giving Callie a squeeze.

"Are you sure?" Callie continued, the concern evident in her voice.

"I was just up thinking about my dad is all. Don't you worry about me, bug." Stef answered.

Callie nodded and snuggled closer into Stef's shoulder.

"What was he like?" Callie asked from genuine curiosity.

"Stubborn." Stef said, letting out an exaspirated laugh.

"So like you?" Callie joked.

"Hey, you're just as stubborn as me missy!" Stef accused.

"What else?" Callie continued.

Stef took a deep breath. "He was a cop too. Really into sports, especially baseball as you already knew. My mom was always so mad that I was so similar to him and not her. It was kind of funny."

"You guys were close? I didn't know that. I thought..." Callie started, but stopped. "I'm sorry."

"You're fine, baby. No, we were close when I was younger. But he couldn't fully look past his belief in God to accept me. I mean, I would never ask him to stop believing in what he believed in, but all I did ask was for him to believe in me too. I know he tried, but what can you do?" Stef admitted.

"I'm sorry that he didn't try harder." Callie replied.

"I just wanted him to love me with Lena just as he loved me with Mike. Love my family with Lena as much as he loved my family with Mike." Stef continued, and Callie could feel a single tear fall onto her head. "I wanted him to see me as his daughter, not as his gay daughter. I wanted to him to not let it influence his feelings towards me, but it was silly on my part to expect anything of that nature."

It was strange for Callie to see Stef be so vulnerable. Stef had always been the one holding others up and was always there to be the tough one, but Callie knew from experience that it was impossible to be tough all the time.

"All I've ever wanted to do was impress him by being a good mom and daugher and wife, but I don't even think I'm doing that anymore." Stef sighed.

"I think you're doing a great job." Callie confided.

Stef let out a small laugh. "Oh my love, theres some stuff I've done that would say otherwise at the moment."

"Let's not forget the time I called you guys dikes, then almost got your son killed all in the first two days of knowing you." Callie reminded, trying to lighten the mood as well.

Stef laughed and kissed Callie's head. "Oh how far you've come."

"There aren't many people I know that would let someone into their home, around their family and kids after that and still show them love and compassion." Callie added, on a more serious note.

"I could see right through you, even then. I knew the moment I saw you with Jude that you weren't the person you tried to come off as. Plus, you guys are easy to love." Stef replied.

"I think your dad thinks you're a great mom." Callie said. "I know I do."

"That means a lot. Being a mom is my favorite job." Stef replied, trying not to look too far into the last statement.

"Do you think my mom thinks I'm doing good?" Callie asked.

"I have no doubt about it. You are so strong and passionate and caring and smart and talented. I know that she is so damn proud of you. Just like I am." Stef answered.

"What do you think your dad would is doing in heaven...or wherever he is?" Callie questioned.

"He's probably sitting in a recliner with a roast beef sandwich in his hand, yelling at a TV about God knows what with the dog we had when I was a kid. I swear he showed that dog off more than me. I could have won an olympic medal and he'd be proud of the dog for rolling over." Stef joked.

"I think my mom is with her parents reading some cheesy romance novel and sucking on a dum-dum sucker. She was addicted to those. The wrappers would end up everywhere. I'd open my lunch and it would fall on the table. I'm pretty sure my pillows were probably stuffed with them" Callie said. "I wish you could have known her."

"I wish I could have too, love. She sounds wonderful. She definitely had wonderful children." Stef smiled.

"I always feel so bad. Like, I loved her so much and always wish that she was still here That way me and Jude wouldn't have gone through what we did and I wouldn't have been to juvie and everything with Liam wouldn't have happened, but I love you guys so much too, and if she were still here I wouldn't be with you guys and I hate thinking about that. I hate remembering a world where any of you guys weren't in it. It's just complicated." Callie confided.

"Oh love, I know it's confusing. But life works in weird ways. We always wish and wonder what life would be if something didn't happen. We just gotta accept and embrace the blessings that come out of the awful and horrible things that happen to us. Everyday when I see you and Jude and Mariana and Jesus I'm reminded of how lucky I am that you are with me and that I get to be your mom and love you." Stef assured, squeezing Callie's shoulder.

"I just hope she's not mad."

"Why would she be mad?" Stef asked with confusion.

"Because Jude is adopted, and I'm well...you know." Callie clarified.

"Well I can tell you that if anything were to happen to me and Lena, all I would want is for someone to love and care for you in the same way we did. That's all any parent wants, to know that their kids are safe and loved." Stef said.

"I hope that's how she feels, too." Callie said.

"I promise you, it is, baby." Stef kissed Callie's forehead.

Callie didn't respond.

"Callie, you have absolutely no idea how much I love you. How proud of you I am. How much you inspire _me_. Life has thrown every possible nasty thing at you and has given you every reason to just give up, yet you take it all and you push through it. You have a big heart, just like Lena, and it amazes me everyday just how much you continue to grow." Stef said with all the love in the world.

"I never thought I'd hear anyone say that." Callie admitted quietly.

"I never want you to forget it, okay? No matter what." Stef ordered.

Callie nodded.

"It's getting late for me. What do you say we go up to bed?" Stef suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Callie agreed.

The two stood up, Callie bringing her almost full cup of water with her. Stef locked the door behind them and they both crept back up the stairs.

"You make me one proud and happy Mama. Now go to bed. I'll see you in the morning." Stef said, kissing Callie's cheek.

"Love you. See you in the morning." Callie said, turning towards her room.

"Love you more."

**Just a one shot that came to mind. I hope you guys don't think Stef is out of character, I just thought about how she said there's no shame in falling apart, and she should practice what she preaches, right? Haha. Thanks for reading **


End file.
